Our New Chapter
A Season of Growth: How God Used Grief to Draw Us Closer to Him
Last year, life felt stable, predictable, and content. My relationship with God was steady, and I was grateful for where we were as a family. But looking back now, I realize I had settled in my faith. My heart never strayed from God, but I wasn’t actively growing. I was simply coasting.
My daughter loved God and had accepted Him into her life. We prayed together daily, we talked about God during her schooling, and we had a routine of acknowledging Him in our lives. But in reality, we weren’t deepening our relationship with God; we were just learning about Him. I now see that I wasn’t helping her grow roots that would stand strong when the storms of life inevitably came.
This year has been hard. Grief showed up unexpectedly, and I faced emotions I’d never known before. In the midst of self-loathing and sadness, everything in life started to pile up—literally and figuratively. My husband began working crazy hours with shift work, leaving me to juggle more than I thought I could handle alone. Over time, I slipped into what I can now see was a slight depression. Life was overwhelming, and I felt lost.
Throughout that time, one memory kept coming back to me: a conversation with my papa. He called me to his room one day and talked about the importance of growing closer to God, reminding me of the eternal hope we have and the promise that we’d all be together one day. That memory became a lifeline for me—a push to dig deeper in my faith, even when it felt difficult. My family began to dig deeper into God’s word, and we found a church we love. Initially, I did it with my grandparents in mind, knowing it was what my grandmother hoped for and that it would mean so much to my grandfather. But slowly, I realized that it wasn’t just for them—it was for us. I needed this, my family needed this, and God was calling us to something greater.
I’m in a different place now. I still have my moments of grief and doubt, but I’m no longer overwhelmed by my disbelief. Instead, I’m filled with excitement and anticipation for what God has in store.
Our preacher spoke recently about the power of planting seeds for Christ. We may never see the impact those seeds have on someone’s life, but God sees it all. My grandmother may not have known just how much she helped us grow in faith, but her influence touched us, and still continues to even after her death. Her seeds are spreading through us, inspiring us to share God’s love and truth with others.
Because of my grandparents influence and prayers on our lives, we are now spreading our own seeds, passing along the faith they instilled in us. She planted seeds of love and faith in me that I now see blossoming in my own life and in the lives of those around me. Our pastor recently shared a powerful thought: “Bad things happen, but if they bring someone to the feet of Christ, is it really all bad?” Losing Grandmama has been deeply painful, but it also brought my family to a place of deeper faith, surrender, and trust in God. And I know she would be proud of that.
In this season of grief and growth, I am so grateful. Grateful that God used my pain to draw me closer to Him, grateful for the seeds Grandmama planted, and grateful that our family is becoming one that strives to spread God’s love, just as she did.